I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

George Carlin
Some Similar Quotes
  1. Every yesterday we lose ourselves so that we can find ourselves in tomorrow. - Raneem Kayyali

  2. Love is not love which alters when it alterations finds. Sonnet 116 - William Shakespeare

  3. What courage basically comes down to as human beings is to protect the lives of others, to go out of your way to save others.” “When a baby comes out of its mother and it moves and breathes and it’s alive, you have to do... - Ann McElhinney

  4. If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day. - --Don Rickles

  5. It's always hard to deal with injuries mentally, but I like to think about it as a new beginning. I can't change what happened, so the focus needs to go toward healing and coming back stronger than before. - Carli Lloyd

More Quotes By George Carlin
  1. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you...

  2. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.

  3. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

  4. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

  5. We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to...

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